Thursday, December 9, 2010

New segment: Ads I hate the most.

Of all things that I hate in this world, and there are many, I hate advertising. Advertising endlessly screams in your face trying to tell you that you need to buy pointless shit that, back in reality, you almost never really need.

These are some of the ads I hate the most right now:



Oh Carl's Jr... You do such an excellent job being sexist in 100% of your commercials, but this one really deserves a greasy, heart attack educing gold star. Don't get me wrong, I loved all of your previous commercials with pop-star bimbos dripping your "secret sauce" all over their anorexic cosmetically altered bodies, but this one really succeeds in being my favorite representation of women yet! You not only successfully portray women as sex objects with no mental capacity, but now the world can agree upon how we're also lazy workers who speak broken English, because us women, we're not too into them readin'. Thar books iz too intimadetin' with all der letters and wutever.

Ad #2 I hate the most right now:

interpretation:
Give up fatty, and take the easy surgical way out! You know you don't have will power. Just LOOK AT YOU! You never stood a chance and you never will. Putting out effort to make changes in your life just isn't realistic. Especially since It's not your fault, the burgers practically FORCE themselves on you! Just look at those tantalizing Carl's Jr. commercials with all those boobs and beef! mmm.... boobs and beef. Wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, give up on life and.. oh yeah!-- buy our product you worthless slob!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Sunbathing


I was just going through a bunch of photos on my computer and I came across a full album that I forgot existed. It was just a bunch of pictures I took this past summer when I was in Dallas. There was not really anything spectacular in the album, but then again, there is nothing really spectacular in Dallas, either. But this picture made me laugh. I was at the Dallas World Aquarium and this little guy was just standing like this, perfectly motionless for at least 20 minutes. And I know that because I watched him for at least 20 minutes. 

I cannot stress strongly enough how little there is to do in Dallas. 




Monday, October 4, 2010

pointless pictures that you will look at anyway













because you 'aint got shit better to do.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Know Your Scumbags

I came across this lovely piece of work at the Museum of Sex in NYC. Being an ex-Catholic myself, I found this quite amusing. Really though, what's scummier-- having protected sex (whether premarital or not), or telling a continent riddled with AIDS that using condoms doesn't stop the spread of disease? Obviously the former. How dare people act on their natural instincts and protect themselves and their partners from disease! Remember kids-- the next time those pesky urges arise just sing this little ditty (Courtesy Monty Python's Life of Brian)
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great!
If a sperm is wasted
God becomes irate! 

Our House...in the middle of the street!

If you happen to find yourself in Reykjavik, please do yourself a favor and stay at this lovely guesthouse:


It's cozy, filled with people from all around the world, family run, and is equipped with a freaking SAUNA, and can be found in the heart of the city.

Mikey and I had only planned to stay here for four nights, but we loved it so much we canceled reservations for another hostel and re-booked here. Also, it's like the highest rated hostel ever on hostels.com. A lot of our experience stemmed from the phenomenal people who happened to also be staying with us, but even if you were staying with a bunch of lame-faces you would still enjoy yourself. 

Friday, July 9, 2010

Birthday anus.

In e-celebration of Courtney's 24th year orbiting that big yellow thing in the sky, I give you.. Courtney: the essentials

::Free Falling starts playing in your mind::













There were more, and even better pictures to be honest, but I'm not sure where Courtney would prefer me to draw the line when it comes to the pictures that I have and how much the rest of the world needs to necessarily see them all.
($5 for access to the rest ::cough::)

Friday, July 2, 2010

A Balloon Called Moaning


This album is rad. I was a little hesitant to buy it on iTunes because I had only heard a few of their songs and wasn't sure if I would like the whole thing, but I threw caution to the wind and bought it anyway. AWESOME DECISION. They're like the love child of The Arcade Fire and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs with a little more hop in their step. They don't really have a proper website, just a myspace page and a page with their latest single's video (Popinjay) but that will do for now. I HIGHLY recommend this band to any and everyone.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Graffiti

Graffiti is absolutely, hands-down, one hundred percent, my favorite facebook application. I used to be able to say that Scrabble was my favorite, but it won't connect to my page anymore so poo-poo to that. 

Obviously, my favorite subjects are cats (just like in real life!).

Sometimes I like to take risks and will dabble in the art of self portraiture, like the one below:


I think the most important factor of my graffiti art is that it should make very little sense, if any sense at all. And the victim   recipient of my masterpieces should always wonder "WTF is this?"


But most often, using this application is just my little way of reminding you that you should probably make sure your doors are locked at night. Haha, just kidding. I would only look into you house from a window while you sleep. I understand boundaries, yo.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Happy Saturday (Sunday...)


I have a feeling that I won't ever be too mature for twisted humor. Oh PBF, you hit the mark every time. Bravo, old chap. Bra-vo. 

Monday, June 21, 2010

Shredded Carrot Salad

So I have been in Texas for slightly over 48 hours and I am yet again reminded of how not conducive this state is to a vegetarian diet. I usually will settle for some sort of fish dish because technically I'm a pescetarian, but a)"pescetarian" sounds way more pretentious than "vegetarian" and b)any fish in Dallas, TX is either coming out of the Gulf of Mexico (Mmmm delicious oil!) or being imported from some far away fish farm. No thank you!

So taking matters into my own hands, and with a little help from Stumble Upon, I made a delightful Carrot Salad that's super light and tasty and perfect for a very hot and humid Texan summer.

Shredded Carrot Salad

Ingredients:
3 cups shredded carrots
3/4 cup freshly chopped cilantro
2 green onions
1/2 white onion
3 tablespoons EVOO
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon of your favorite hot sauce (I recommend the green tabasco sauce)
1/2 teaspoon dijon mustard
Freshly ground black pepper and Sea salt

Directions:
Finely chop both the white and the green onions. Combine shredded carrots, cilantro, and onions in a large mixing bowl.

In a small mixing bowl, combine EVOO, lime juice, hot sauce, mustard and whisk until fully mixed. Add salt and pepper according to your preference.

Drizzle dressing over the solid ingredients and stir until everything is evenly distributed. Put in the fridge and let sit for at least an hour to chill. You can absolutely eat it right away, but it is much more refreshing once it has been chilled and once the flavors have had some time to absorb through the salad.


I wish I had taken a photo of the salad, but I devoured it before I could even think to do so. The original recipe for the salad can be seen here with an image, but there are some major differences between the two (namely, I did not put mint into my salad, while I did add white onion. Also, I made a slightly different dressing).
Next time I make this salad I'm thinking of throwing in some celery for a little more flavor and crunch. Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

shit breakfast and sacrilege

Reader's note: it doesn't have to make sense.

(Oh, and click to enlarge images. )






Tuesday, May 11, 2010

all that I can read, is you're the B-side

remember when Courtney used to make posts on here? Those were the good 'ole days..

This keyboard's space bar sucks and I think it's because Murphy (fat cat) has knocked it onto the floor so many times. I'll have to scream high pitched repetitive statements into his face later for that (like I wouldn't if otherwise).

Wait, maybe I should stick to an actual topic so this is worth reading.
I went to Los Campesinos! tonight with my sister at the Glass House in Pomona (reflections of high school flood mind) and I just have to say.. I FUCKING LOVE LOS CAMPESINOS! WHY ARE I AND THEM NOT INTIMATE FRIENDS?!
The lead singer Gareth inspired and galvanized the audience to such an extent that I (as in myself) danced within a mini-mob. If you know me you should realize that this is significant.
Erika S-jewel and dancing is like oil and water.. or more accurately gasoline and a match.. or a fart and a match. No, scratch that, a fart and a match is a great and common combination.


watch these videos slave.


^This one was definitely my favorite live. The crescendo was booommmbbbbbbbdig.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I can at least pretend to embrace summer



But for the most part (on a roughly 95-99% level) I do not embrace summer. You make me wear little clothes and I doth prefer to keep my pale, freckled skin from having to be molested by hideous sunlight.

Yes, yes, dramatic you say. How can you be so averse to sunlight when sunlight is what sustains life on earth you say? F off, my native blood is from that of Ireland and Norway. My people hiss at sunshine and this is the way it should be.

My opinion > your opinion

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Don't judge me, you love it



I kind of stalk this person on the internet. They're also kiiinnd of my illustration hero. This is probably because they have the absolute BEST taste in animation of all time, primarily being all of the essential classic Disney animated flicks alongside everything Studio Ghibli (duh, what else is there).

Soooo.... I applaud you and your exQUISITE TASTE.. keep fighting the good fight. (?)

Friday, March 5, 2010

Wine Cork Board

I had a free day and a gallon bag filled with wine corks from my barkeep days. Craftiness ensued. 


It's only 6" x 11" but I think it looks cute hanging over my little work desk. For some reason it makes me think of a late summer afternoon in Napa. I almost don't want to actually pin anything to it because I like it just how it is.  

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Muddling your blog reads with politics, sorry


It's just too good not to post.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Rain. Aka: Sheer Glory


The rain is wonderful and for so many reasons. I don't simply disagree with those who dislike the rain. I kill them for heresy.
You see children, the rain is excellent because the rain makes me suddenly normal in my action and dress. Suddenly we must all stay in doors. Oh, pick up a book you say? I think I shall. Suddenly we must all wear many layers of dark colored hoodies. Oh, all of what my wardrobe consists of you say? Sounds most excellent. And on a governmental standpoint, California water crisis? Thank you rain.
For killing many heathens but saving all the animals in biblical times? Good choice rain, good choice.

All right, I see I'm starting to push it with my morbid humor. I guess I'll go to work.
Though on a work note: Screw Newport Restaurant Week, I want to stare at the rain and you DEPRIVE ME OF MY SIMPLE PLEASURES!
Oh well, serving a bunch of rich fogies has its pluses ("Chilled salad fork ma'am? PAY FOR MY COLLEGE!")

Sunday, January 17, 2010

My sister (left) is a hero


Click to download.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hypnotized by Asia

I am what most people consider "cheap".
My attempt at clothes shopping usually (always) consists of journeying to Target, holding up a gray T-shirt and pondering the $15 price for about 20 minutes, only to eventually rationalize to myself that the gray T-shirt is unnecessary and already composes ninety-percent of my current wardrobe.
(Back in the day my pondering was often cut short by Taylor contributing, "Hmm.. gray T-shirt.." or "Didn't you say you wanted to buy something that didn't look like everything you already own?" or "No.")
Also before I walk out of the store a gray and any-color striped T-shirt often strikes my eye and another 20 minutes of my life is forever wasted contemplating the importance of that T-shirt versus a loss of $15 (that could have gone toward sushi) in my life.

I only venture through this boring explanation of my pointless life because I simply cannot understand how I am so cheap, yet when I run across web pages like this I suddenly struggle.

I... want the sad cloud earrings. I want the grumpy kitty earrings. I want the sushi earrings. Why? I don't know.. I don't even WEAR earrings!

CURSE YOU ASIA!!!!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dear Livejournal,


Raise your hand if you've been monstrously frustrated recently (flails in response to own question).

I don't really care to divulge too much of my life out into the abyss that is the internet, but fuck I say.

Some things I would like to say "fuck" to recently may include, but is not limited to:

*people who don't understand the concept of personal space
*my cat pissing on my sheets
*owning a car that works for about 5 days and then dies. repeatedly.
*not having money
*not having money
*people who have parents who pay for crap but don't appreciate it. <--fuck that shit.

I feel as though I should attempt to end on a positive note seeing as this is a real downer of an update, but whatever, its the internet, you get what you pay for bitches.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions

I'll admit they're hackneyed. Heck, I'll admit that I'll probably be just as trite by not following through with any of them anyway, but 'tis a New Year. Plus, I don't think there is any harm in trying to start a new year on a note of self improvement, as opposed to passively allowing myself to disintegrate into an existence of perpetual cat hair and minimal human contact. Though, as I sit in bed at 3 in the afternoon, still in my pajamas, with one cat in my lap and one hovering near-by, I will acknowledge that I am already failing.

1) Read More
2009 was not a good year for Courtney and books. The first half of the year was dedicated to reading scholastically, and although the Bolshevik Revolution and Banking Crises of the Great Depression are interesting topics, there is something less-than-satisfying about reading a book when you're required to do so. And the second half of the year was spent starting a book, and then not finishing it for whatever reason. "I'm too tired...". "It's not as good as the author's other book". "I lost it...again". "I have to finish that other book I started first". No mas! Book club anyone?

2) Let my Nerd Flag fly
Despite the fact that it is the present, 2010 sounds so futuristic and is therefore a most excellent time to stop pretending that I wouldn't love Battlestar Galactica or that I find Spock more lust-worthy than Captain Kirk any day of the week. It doesn't hurt that I got a telescope for Christmas, either.

3) Befriend more people, fewer cats
I'm only 23, and even though I'm already married, I can face the fact that I am setting myself up to die in a giant pile of hoarded cats, though otherwise completely alone.

4) Move to a new city
Orange County has had it's culturally-void talons latched onto me for far too long-- and although I don't intend to lead the most edgy and artistic lifestyle, I can definitely recognize the fact that it's not normal (or healthy) to live someplace where 16 year-olds drive new BMWs and where people refer to their Louis Vuitton apparel on a first name basis. It's really difficult to widen my worldview and grow as an individual when I live in a black hole of anthropological diversity. Lease is up in April, let's get me outta here!


Well, it'll be interesting to look back next year to see exactly how well I followed through with these resolution-ma-bobs. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that number 3 will be the most difficult point to achieve, considering it's the only one that will require me to actively repel my nature, while 1, 2, and 4 are all facets of my personality that I would like to expand upon. Why's everyone gotta hate on cat ladies anyway?